im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
