her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Randomize
