He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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