My room smells like vodka and shame
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
