she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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