jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
