He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
