his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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