You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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