he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
