Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
