u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
