the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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