I will die if light touches me.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
