i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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