my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
