My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
