tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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