that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
