Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
foreskin is a definite game changer
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
