I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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