i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
