you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Randomize
