I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
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