this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
