Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
So squirting runs in the family.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
