She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
she looked like the before picture.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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