he shaved USA in his pubs
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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