That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
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