She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
don't judge my taste in strippers
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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