On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
