It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
