We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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