Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
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