Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
