i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
