Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
