Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
