im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
