Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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