Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
