we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
