So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
