he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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