So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
