You work out of a Hotel?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
