i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
