is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
