it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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