apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
